Most women who make adoption plans do so because they have life goals – usually they want to complete college or vocational school or in some way better themselves. Perhaps this is what you want. These women called (Birth Mothers) want the best for their child. They know that if they try to raise the child at this point in their lives, they probably will not reach their goals. They hate the idea of putting their baby in child care all day, coming home exhausted at night from a dead-end job, and being so poor that they have to count every penny.
The day-to-day struggles of solo child care, with no emotional or economic support from a husband, can make parenting very difficult. Your mother may be willing to help you with the baby. But you may ask, “Do I want Mom to tell me how to raise my child?”
Birth Mothers know that it is best for the child to have a Mother and Father. Many Birth Mothers find comfort in selecting a family in which the adoptive mom wants to stay-at-home with the child. Most Birth Mothers don’t seek a couple who can give the child the latest fashionable clothing and trips to Disney World every six months. Instead, they are looking for a loving, stable home.
- 1 Will people think I am selfish if I place my baby?
- 2 Can I pick the family for my baby?
- 3 What is Private or Independent Adoption?
- 4 Does the baby’s father need to know?
- 5 Will I be able to see my baby?
- 6 What if I change my mind about adoption?
- 7 Will I feel sad after my child is adopted?
- 8 How do I begin the process?
Will people think I am selfish if I place my baby?
NO, many people will understand that you believe your baby’s life will be better if a couple raises him or her. They will know that your decision is in the child’s best interest. More importantly, they will know that you’ve loved your child enough to make adoption plans for him or her. This is a very unselfish decision you have made.
If you receive criticism from others, gently express to them that you have the right to make up your own mind and to do what’s best for you and your child. If you feel that others are pressuring you unfairly, then perhaps you should seek counseling.
Can I pick the family for my baby?
YES, you can! Characteristics most sought in a couple are: financial responsibility, marital stability, ability to nurture a child, willingness to send letters and photos, a mother who does not work outside of the home, good sense of humor, willingness to meet the Birth Mother, and willingness to express their values to the Birth Mother. These may be some of the characteristics you want in an adoptive couple.
What is Private or Independent Adoption?
In a private adoption, you get to know a couple before the baby is born. If you want to, you can meet the couple in person. If you prefer to write to the or talk to them on the phone, that’s OK. The choice is yours.
An attorney is involved to ensure that the adoption is processed legally and your rights are maintained. You can receive counseling if you want to, but it is not required. However, it is strongly suggested by Adoption Web Link. Also, unlike some agency adoptions, the infant is NOT placed in foster care; instead he or she will be placed directly from the hospital with the adoptive parents you choose. Often the control that a Birth Mother has in a Private Adoption is what helps her to make the adoption plans. The advantages of Private Adoption probably account for the fact that most adopted infants in the U.S. are placed privately.
Does the baby’s father need to know?
In some situations the answer is YES. You are not always required to name him if you do not want to. Generally if he knows of your pregnancy, you may be required to name him. Talk to an adoption attorney about the relationship you have with the babies father.
Will I be able to see my baby?
After you deliver the baby and you are still in the hospital, if you want, you can see and care for the baby. Most Birth Mothers, even those who take care of the baby, do not stay on the maternity floor in the hospital. You may want progress letters and photos of the baby sent to you. In years to come, you and the child may want to meet.
What if I change my mind about adoption?
You have time to think about your decision. By law you can’t make the final decision and actually sign the legal adoption papers until after the baby is born. Adoption is a difficult decision to make. You should not feel pressured. You may want to take at least a few days after the baby is born to make your mind up. It is a good idea for you to write down your reasons for placing long before the baby is born. When you feel emotional after the baby’s arrival, the list will remind you why you choose adoption. Your head and heart may not always agree at this time. The list can help put things back into perspective.
Will I feel sad after my child is adopted?
Adoption is a loss. An abortion is also a loss – for you and the baby. Parenting a child can also be a loss- the loss of opportunities for both you and your child.
And when there is loss, there is usually sadness. You will feel emotional. After having a baby, many women cry and are upset because their hormones are changing. You are a feeling, caring person who is making a very serious decision. To be emotional is all right. We cry at weddings and graduations because we are parting with something or someone. Yet, these are happy occasions because we are starting a new phase in our lives. Like these other life events, adoption can also be very positive. You have given a child life and can make a couple’s dream come true. With God’s help and unplanned pregnancy can bring joy to others and your baby.
The first year of the child’s life will be the hardest for you. But time is a great healer. You may want to meet with other Birth Mothers or special people who have supported you in your adoption plan. If you want counseling after the baby’s birth, talk to the attorney or facilitator. These arrangements can be made at NO COST to you.
How do I begin the process?
This site will allow you to review profiles of adoptive couples ready and waiting for a child. After viewing these couples, contact them to schedule a meeting or phone conversation. Adoption Web Link is here to support you, whatever your decision. We are happy to supply you with information on all available options. LIFE WHAT A BEAUTIFUL CHOICE!
Adoption Web Link is not an adoption agency. It is a website for Birth Mothers to meet and match with Prospective Adoptive Couples for open adoption.
At Adoption Web Link our primary concern is for the young woman experiencing an unplanned pregnancy or woman who choose adoption for their unborn child. It is our strong conviction that an unplanned pregnancy does not mean a unwanted baby.
This site is designed to allow Birth Mothers to view Prospective Adoptive Couples. These couples provide Dear Birth Mother letters and photos. If you are a Birth Mother, considering adoption and wishing to choose an adoptive couple, please view our couples.