If you watch the Kardashian’s (yes, it’s my guilty pleasure) you saw how the fertility doctor showed Kim how women’s fertility levels peak before age 25 and continue to go down as you get older. By nature, it is harder for women to get pregnant when they hit their 30’s or 40’s. Yet, despite knowing this, so many women choose to wait.
There are many great reasons to wait to have kids. I did. Perhaps you want to finish your education, get a running start on your career, have a stable home or fulfill your childlike fantasies while you still have time. And often, it just takes more time to meet a potential mate. For me, I could feel the urge setting in about 25. It took 2 years to convince my husband to be on board, then another year of trying for me to get pregnant. My kids were born when I was 28 and 32. Still fairly young given today’s standards.
Starting to wonder…
While some women get married early and hit their fertility at the peak; most of us don’t. But what about mother nature makes us so fertile so young? Are we working against mother nature by delaying? I’m starting to think so.
While there are many benefits to waiting, there are also many benefits to not waiting. For example, it’s much easier to get pregnant when you’re young. So many women struggle with infertility. Many have to turn to scientific methods to conceive, while others are unable to conceive at all.
Even if you have inherent fertility issues, if you start trying early, the longer you will have to find a solution that works. Similarly, there are several other possible complications that come from being an older mom.
Because you have the same eggs you were born with, they do begin to expire and you are left with possible chromosomal or other complications. Women who are pregnant over 35 are often encouraged to get an amniocentesis to test for abnormalities; however, these tests can often result in losing the pregnancy altogether.
Then there’s the energy. Being pregnant is hard work. And as we know, everything gets harder as you age. You don’t have the energy you did in your 20’s. Not only to carry the pregnancy but to chase after a toddler and be an active parent in your child’s life.
Then there is the issue that I continue to see among my friends who waited…..they have had so much time to be selfish and carefree, that it is a much harder transition to parenthood than if you didn’t have so much time to yourself. Suddenly the blessing you always wanted feels more like a burden..and you really long for those carefree days.
So many people I know lived for years traveling aimlessly, changing jobs on a whim, spending all their money on skiing and having fun. And when things change, and they do change drastically, they are hit with a severe reality check.
So while there are so many great reasons to wait. My advice is don’t! I had a coworker recently tell me he wanted to wait until his wife was 35. No reason, just because. Even it wasn’t my place to advise, I couldn’t help but encourage him not to wait.
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— WhoWired (@whowiredz) January 20, 2020
What if you wait thinking you will pregnant right away and it doesn’t happen? And the years of your peak fertility are far behind you? Is it really worth it waiting for years to take that chance? There is never an ideal time. But if you are like me, once you have a baby in your arms, all you can’t think is “why did I wait?”
But…before I get jumped on by haters, please make sure you are financially able to care for children before you can conceive them. Financial difficulties are a great reason to wait. And each couple needs to decide what is the right time for them. And for crying out loud, when I say don’t wait…I DO NOT mean get pregnant so you can go on MTV’s Teen Mom!